We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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