someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.