I'm really into asian looking animals
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary