Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
