Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
