had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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