This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
