well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
