Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
