Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
