Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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