Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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