we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
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