those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
