Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
