so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
