Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Randomize
