I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
