plz talk dirty to me
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
