That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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