For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
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All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
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Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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