Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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