so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize