I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
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drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
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Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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