Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
