That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
