So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
