Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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