Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
honey bunches of taint.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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