Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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