We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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