At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
why is half of my head shaved?
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