I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
