I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize