we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
