Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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