DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize