I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
