im gay
i know
yea but for you.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
