he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
