when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
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