i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
