I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Randomize