Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
