therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize