You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I didn't notice because vodka
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
