Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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