yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
