its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
