Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
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