ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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