Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize