I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I lost the right to judge tonight
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
