we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
