im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
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