you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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