I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I just found puke in my bra..
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Randomize
