Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
